#of what keeps me going. but when brain is less good

[biteyoubiteme]

a good seat

yeonjun x fem!reader

warnings: 🔞!!! thigh riding, brat!reader, eye contact lol, yeonjun calls reader a slut once prob forgot some sorry wc: 1k ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝ an: this is for the light of my life @apeachty who wants to be mean a blessing and talk to me about yeonjuns thighs, you put this worm into my head and it wouldnt leave me alone so now here is the fruit of your labor, you didn't ask for it and it’s not the best but eh I hope you enjoy it lol also this is not proofread forgive me sweet angels

[m.list]

You never meant to be a brat, or at least not to the point that it had gotten to recently. And it was never what he did that made you behave in a different way, but always just when you fell into a mood without realizing it. Mostly after a night out with friends, where you sit on the edge of the bed watching him undress. He had taken your shoes off for you at the door, bending down on one knee, gently holding your calf, using any excuse he could to touch you. 

He had been so sweet all night, and now you set out to toy with him just because you could. “Aren't you going to get undressed? Get cozy," Yeonjun nodded, jutting his chin in your direction to let you know he could see you waiting for him.  

“No,” it had been so easy to say when he was half-hidden behind the doorway to the bathroom. Because one look from him and you would be putty, melting around his commands with only apologies and whimpers as a reply. And currently, you felt like playing no matter how both of you knew who always had the better hand. 

“No?” he stepped into view, jeans unbuttoned, unzipped, leaving his pants hanging loose on his hips. His tank top clinging to the panes of his stomach just right, all the exposed skin of his arms crumbling your brain into a cluster of half-formed sentences. The most you could get out was enough to repeat yourself, your “No,” sounding less confident looking him down now. 

It was all he needed you to say before he walked to his side of the bed, pushing down his jeans letting them pool right by the nightstand, the fabric of his underwear clinging to him just enough to leave nothing hidden. Yeonjun sat right on the edge, spreading his legs just enough to have you fit between them, exactly where he wanted you as he tapped his thigh as a call for you to come over. 

It's exactly what you wanted, attention, so it was easy to find yourself in front of him, arms crossed, eyes falling to his lap over and over, enough so that he had to tip your chin with his knuckle to get you to look at his face. “No, my eyes are here, this,” he taps his leg again, “is your seat,” 

It was all he said before he had you straddling his thigh, your hands digging into his shoulders, trying and failing to bite back your moans when he held your hips, dragging you back and forth. He didn't care how bratty you thought you were being, he knew exactly how to work you to the edge of an orgasm and exactly how to make you fall back in line. He didn't even have to do much convincing, just tug your panties down and say a few little words. 

But it wasn't like yeonjun wasn't affected, your knee pressed to the hardening bulge between his legs. The second he felt exactly how wet you were against him, he had moaned, deep in the back of his throat on instinct, never fully able to silence himself when it came to you. And your head had fallen forward, dipping down to hide the way you bit your lip, keeping any noise from slipping out. “No look at me, let me see my little slut begging me for more than just my thigh,” 

Yeonjun was playing with fire, your clit grinding down on his thigh like a match striking the box, igniting and catching, close enough to burn. He had asked for you to look at him but the second your eyes were on him he was ready to break, twist so that he could push right into you, keeping you pressed to the mattress until the sun came back around. But it wasn't until you started to beg, just like he asked, that he felt the struggle set in. “Please,” your nails dug into the fabric of his tank top, hips rocking and rocking as he flexed his thigh to aid the pressure you needed. 

This was only another form of you practicing being a brat, you knew how to rile him up, knew that if you leaned into his demands he'd snap and wouldn’t help himself from getting his fill. “Please jjunie, please,” you whined, his fingers digging into your hips, needing something to ground him as he clenched his jaw. He wouldn't give in, he told himself he wouldn't, and yet your sweet mewls only made him harder. “I’ll be good,” you promised, a gasp catching right in your throat when he helped you find the right rhythm, orgasm building in the pit of my stomach. Your need was palpable, your brows scrunching as you tried to keep your head up to look at him, show him just how needy you were, “please,” it was nearly a cry, your hands slipping down his chest, balling the fabric in your fists as you held him. Cunt so wet against his thigh that it was easy to keep you moving even when you started to tremble. 

“If you cum I'll give it to you,” but even if you couldn't finish he would flip the two of you over, he would be desperate enough to just drag you the few inches he needed so that he could sink into you sitting up just like this. “I want my pretty girl to get off right here against my thigh first,” 

“But-” You couldn't finish your thought, one hand falling to his clothed bulge, palming him over the fabric before you felt your orgasm crash into you. You were a shaking mess, whining so pretty for him that he wasted no time in dragging you closer to him, needing to be in you before your mind cleared. Needing to feel exactly how he made you feel with nothing but his thigh. 

taglist 🏷: @kissmekissykissme @bts-txt-ateez @apeachty @seungfl0wer @lunesdesire @no1likemybbgcharlie @chasingthatjjunie @taegyutomorrow @izzyy-stuff want to be added to the taglist? check out my rules to see how to join!want to be taken off the taglist? send an ask!

[cvnt4him]

okay, how do we feel on squirting on izuku? hear me out now—

UA dorms, 3rd year, everyone is 18+!!!!!

you and izuku are having a midnight fuck sesh cause it’s quite literally the ONLY time y’all get to be sexually intimate so things are REALLY hot & heavy. I’m talkin’ like having to hold in moans to not wake your neighbors up, the bed is creaking, you had to put a pillow in between the headboard because it was making too much noise, sweating everywhere and izuku has to keep making out with you so y’all can get your moans out quietly!! 🫣

and all of a sudden after izuku moves his hips slightly, you just start squirting EVERYWHERE, like your soaking his bed and you have to moan into a pillow cause it felt so good 😵‍💫

“Did…Did i make you…?”

“..yes…yes you..did..haa..”

“Can i..keep going?I-I haven’t came yet..”

“Yes baby, please keep fucking me…!”

and then just proceeds to overstimulate you while your whining and moaning into his mouth and scratching on his back.

do what you will with this information 🥸

-🩸

I kinda free balled even though you literally told me what you wanted lol, I hope this is to your liking my loveᡣ𐭩

It was after midnight, you were at least sure all of your dorm neighbors were lying down if not asleep by the time you went over to izukus dorm.

You and your boyfriend haven't been able to explore each other's body in so long given you're in your last year of highschool which means not only will things become more advanced but you have even less time to get all of the things done. With all the stress of colleges and your futures taking over your brains you two only had time to text each other 'good morning' 'goodnight' and 'I love you'

It hurt you but none of that mattered anymore, you were finally in your boyfriend's arms after so long. This was the only time you two had together let alone to be intimate with one another you had to take advantage of it.

Izuku had your face shoved into the pillows and your back arched painfully you can hear him groaning above you, his eyes squeezed shut as he slammed his cock inside of you repeatedly.

His thick cock forcing its way into your gushing pussy. The way you squeezed around him had his head rolling back he couldn't take it. He'd already cum inside of you about 2 times given how long it's been since he'd felt your tight wet walls, the thought of them alone had him busting a nut.

You heard his gutteral moans being hushed by his face being buried in your shoulders he began biting them harshly causing you to scream into the pillows, luckily for you they were quite scream proof izuku made sure of that when he bought them.

“ ....ohh...~ you sweet thing... ngh- need it s’bad huh? hmmn. c'mon cum in my cock baby..”

The way he whispered in your ear, so dirty yet so sweet. He was never rough with you but he couldn't help himself fucking you as if you're some cheap fleshlight he needed all that he could take. His hands coming down to harshly grip the flesh of your ass before slapping it making your back arch and your ass grind back onto his cock.

He loved the feeling of you fucking him back, throwing your ass back onto his cock while he tried shoving it deeper inside. The bed creaking with each rough motion of you thrusting back against him, izuku groans at the sticky sounds of the two of you thinking he should've put a pillow behind his headboard someone was definitely going to complain!

“ ngh..! give it t’me, give it t’me zuku— need it s’bad- ugh...”

Your words were coming out muffled and sloppy you were losing your mind with how sensitive you were, you'd come so many times its as if it was happening all on its own. You couldn't control it anymore letting him split you in half on his cock while you lost your mind.

“ let me.....huff....let me flip you over baby.. wanna look at’cha when I fuck you.”

You hum and with that he pulled out causing you to whine, he instantly flipped you over into your back to get a good look at your soiled face. Tears streaming down and spit down your jaw, your eyes were glossy and you could hardly see all you wanted was to hold your strong boyfriend.

You heard him shakily sigh above you, lining his sticky and cum covered cock back up with your dripping cunt, cum leaking out of it and creating a ring around his cock as he quickly shoved it in causing you to jolt upward into him, he instantly leaned down and held you locking lips with you to sustain your whine and moans you were shaking in his arms and your spit was slowly leaking down both your chins.

Izuku sat inside of you for a moment letting you convulse around his cock, this was more for him than it was for you. The feeling of your nasty icky cunt spasming around his twitching veiny cock had his mind melting just as much as yours. He was trying his hardest not to fall apart inside of you but God was it hard with you squeezing him tighter than anything he's ever had.

Izuku gulped down hardly and slowly jerked his hips up into you there was something inside of you, a coil that just snapped your head was thrown back and you couldn't help but to moan aloud izuku was too late to catch it pitchy moans echoing through his room you had started squirting all over his cock your eyes were rolling and your mind was completely blank.

Izuku was in utter awe with you, gasping lightly as his cock only began plugging you deeper with how thick it was, your juices were spraying all over his abdomen and his bed you would be embarrassed if you were coherent and understood what was going on around you. Izuku rubbed your thigh and cooed sweet words to you telling you how proud of you he was.

“ awh honey.... m’ so proud of you baby, did so good f’me.”

“ do...do you want me to keep going...? can I? I wanna cum again...”

You nod your head at his words hardly even understanding any of them. With that he took all that he had and began thrusting into you once more, not as rough as he once was but just enough to get him there and to have you squealing into his chest tears wetting him as your body rocks with his arms wrapping around his back and scratching his back harshly.

His back arched into you a wince leaving him as he sped up, hips stuttering into yours. The nasty slaps of skin filling the air along with your hiccups and moans and his low groans. The bed creaking faster with his movements.

“ sh...shit baby..! m’gna cum inside of you... fuck-!”

Giving it all he could with a couple sloppy messy thrusts, he came inside of you hard and deep. His moans turned into high pitched whines his cock was twitching so much and you were squeezing him so tightly after he'd already cum he couldn't help squeezing your hips tightly making you wince and squirm.

You felt his shaky breath fan over your neck as your face was buried in his chest drool getting all over him as he just collapsed on top of you not even bothering to pull out. His poor cock was too thick for you to push out so you just sat there plugged and fucked full of cum.

The next day you were both told by your teacher that izuku had many complaints from his neighbors due to loud squeaking that sounded as if someone was being murdered. You both had detention for the rest of the year and were BANNED from going near each other's dorm and would be kicked out of U.A if caught in the other's room.

Was it truly worth it....

[popculturealchemy]

giant masses

black spears

.

climbed your everest

sherpa, my brain

sherpa, hiding red flags

sherpa, casting shadow on your flaws

highlighting your strength

.

uncanny valley.

you think you're deep

mariana trench vibes coming from your end

Interesting at first

submarines sinking

you sinking them

shallowness,

I was unprepared for the kiddie pool of your truth

.

this shouldn't feel like myst

a complicated turn based point and click wtf nightmare game.

puzzles without answers

you're just fucking vague.

not the same

no solutions; = solution

.

rather be like nintendogs

rubbing my sylus on your bottom screen

doggy style multiplayer coop mission

finding that back and forth frequency we need

.

can't find you now

not sure sure if you had one

someone else got it.

new orbit or something

.

shedding you like leaves

hurting at first

nourishing my roots

creating ecology at my feet.

belonging to the streets

putting things where they go when they go there

.

.

someothing about you died

and you never told me

.

you felt it change

I'm noticing

I'm waiting

el niño

hurricane on the east coast of your phase

waxing and waning

.

no explanation

feeling dark, distance. erasure.

your face is stuck in my vision

.

no explaination needed,

your face is terrifying though

thought I'd give you a warning

.

dropped like a hot stone

falling like a leaf

.

time healing wound of separation

no one at fault

just hurting, foggy

discrete depression all day now

till this things fades

.

oh yeah. that persons not here no more

.

they are but, just different or something

black spear

red rover sent right over

hot girl summer

hot girl stone

warming my bed, thank you

leaves feeling cold now.

.

didn't break my chain.

you found my weak links

actually, I told you

you pulled on them right away

Information used on me

supposed to be used to protect me

complete. utter. lack. of. partnership. skills.

seeing an opening and taking it

full force

my weak weakspot becomes a fulcrum

a toggle switch

trigger my seizures

howd you get in here weirdo

you did this to your grandma too.

i'm so glad you accidentally told me that

feeling protected and hurt by luck

four leaf clover

knowing how to use it

.

not sure what else to say

bon voyage

no hard feelings but feeling only hard feelings

.

focusing on something else now

blurry feeling.

snuffed by the spear

.

feeling like a good year thats mine today

leaves falling

spears forming

nests revealed

needing exploring

.

new changes for new nests

less pesky birds

birds that don't peck

.

ctrl alt del this feeling

rebooting

trying off and on again.

living in the present..

eventually getting there

a lifelong test

.

one moment eclipsing the rest

break up

light shining behind this black prism

waiting to crest

already cresting

glass 1% full today

.

get back together?

.

surely, you jest.

.

I don't want to friends.

Neither did you.

It was supposed us

weird labels

archaic words

wanting to feel special

feeling reductive

reductive popculture moment in your mind.

doing "the thing."

.

enemies feels too personal.

memory halflife

redflags in view now

unraveling.

like a bathbomb fractal galaxy bath

poising the well

my water

black spear to your memory

you're poisoning me know

you're think you're smart because your friends smile while you're talking

dollar store connection

Impetus/ response

.

and now your falling from my memory

.

letting you fall gracefully is my gift to you

and it keeps on giving

enjoy the worms

fly high

.

focusing on my 1% water and black spear

old farmer painting

feeling rugged and dragged around by horses

.

cruel tricks

.

black spear not cruelty

.

third party I need for protection

people like you exist

I know that know

.

Ted talk running late

pixel's remembering my thoughts

you're a leaf now

I'm a tree

[bitletsanddrabbles]

Island of the Procrastinating Brain

I swear, my brain is actively trying to drive me insane.

Back in 2022 it came up with a plot for @alex51324 's "Island of the Gays" where the Duke of Crowborough comes to the Island because, well, by this point the man's less of a human being than he is a walking bundle of neurosis. I got through a couple of scenes before my brain got tired and stalled out, but I still have a good frame work. Every once in awhile, I come back and poke at it and get out a few more sentences. Maybe even a paragraph or two.

Yeah, have I mentioned I'm not a fast writer?

And Phillip does NOT want to deal with his issues and Thomas does NOT want to deal with Phillip, which, okay, FAIR, but that's kinda the point of the whole thing. But in the meantime my brain still wants to write Phillip on the Island, so what's it done?

Come up with a sequel, naturally!

And it really, really wants to write this sequel despite the fact I can't do it properly until I've written the first piece, which neither my brain or my characters seems interested in, because they are all PUNKS, but my brain will NOT stop thinking about this hypothetical sequel which, at this point, will never be written.

So I'm just going to write out the summary for the thing here, in case anyone's curious and wants a laugh, because I can and maybe it'll galvanize the lump of grey cells in my skull to be productive. Maybe. Not holding my breath.

Things you need to know before going into this:

Random.org has decided that Thomas is married to Peter Fitzroy for this one, which is kinda important for Thomas's characterization.

Phillip only kinda counts as human at this point, but he's actively trying to fix that. The results are mixed.

It was inspired by a couple of polls I ran when I was trying to figure out where I was taking the first piece (hey! I have the last scene written!) and the suggestions that Phillip might like working in some sort of architectural field (believe that was from @o-rchidae) and that he wind up married with an older working class bloke who would not take his shit.

Right then. Let's go.

-

Okay, so, this takes place a couple of years after the Walking Disaster of Crowborough arrived. At one point he was tapped to help with building or repairs or some such and he realized he liked it, so he's taken to studying books on building and architecture and has joined up with the local work crew. The problem is, he's basically teaching himself out of books and then applying it to real life, so he keeps getting ideas about "Say, why don't we do this thing THIS way?" and while it'll seem like a reasonable idea, there is, in fact, a very good reason NOT to do it that way, but because a) he's a Duke and b) a bunch of people hate him, on general principle if nothing else, everyone just goes "Oh, okay, sure" and the do it that way and…it fails. And the people who hate him laugh and it's obvious that EVERYONE knew it was a bad idea and he gets frustrated, but he wont' say it, because a) Duke and b) boys don't cry.

And this goes on for awhile.

After a bit, though, a new guy shows up who has lots of experience building things. It was kinda his job before he got here. He is educated in the ways of Building Things and knows what's up. He's also at least ten years Phillip's senior and has limited patience for upper class twits, so when he joins the crew and is informed there's this know-it-all-Duke who's always demanding they do things his way (by which we mean 'making suggestions that everyone just goes along with'), even though it's stupid and wastes time and resources, this guy goes "Pff, not on MY watch!"

And sure enough, the next time Phillip makes one of his suggestions, instead of "Yeah, sure, okay" he gets "We're not doing that." Why? "'Cause it's a stupid idea that won't work." WHY? "Because (insert full explanation of why the thing wouldn't work)." And Phillip stops asking and the rest of the crew cheers and laughs at how the old guy sure showed him and they anticipate an end to the questions.

THIS TOTALLY BACKFIRES.

Instead Phillip, who had actually been kinda slowing down on the suggestions over time, is making ALL of the suggestions, ALL of the times, and arguing every last aspect of the suggestion with Old Timer before giving up. The crew can't put up a fence without an argument. Old Timer starts calling Phillip 'Phil'. Rather than tell him to stop, Phillip just starts calling Old Timer by a similar nickname, which Old Timer ignores, because not giving in to his own trick, oh no. There's talk of starting a police department in case they murder each other.

After this has gone on for awhile there is a Big Dramatic Plot Twist and the Old Timer goes out into the woods for something and…doesn't come back in a timely manner. He stays gone long enough for people to get worried and mount a search. To everyone's shock, Phillip wants to come. He's quite insistent on the point. They finally agree to put him in Thomas's party because he and Thomas "get along now" (read: Thomas has spent enough time with Peter talking him down that he can tolerate Phillip's presence under the right circumstances as long as he doesn't say anything). The parties go out and before long, Thomas and Phillip's party has the good luck to find Old Timer. He's accidentally been injured badly enough he can't walk and crawling through the woods is not easy going. The manner of this accident wasn't a super obvious bad idea, but that could maybe have been avoided with a bit more thought, perhaps, with luck. Most of the party just nods and goes "Yeah, sounds about right, could have happened to anyone."

…Phillip flips straight out and starts screaming at Old Timer for being an idiot who could have got himself killed. And then storms off a ways into the woods, back toward the village, leaving everyone else wondering a) the best way to get the injured man back home and b) what the heck just happened with the prissy little Duke. Thomas gets deputized to go find out what Phillip's problem is. There is protesting involved, but he finally gives in because he'd like to be home by dinner, thank you very much.

Phillip has, by this point, stopped to have a smoke, which both gives Thomas an opportunity to catch up and, thankfully, a scent to find him by. Thomas asks him why on earth he's so upset that Old Timer is hurt since the two of them hate each other and everyone figured Phillip would LOVE it if the other man died…

And that's when he finds out that everyone's had that relationship all backwards. Phillip doesn't hate the Old Timer, oh no! He loves being called 'Phil'. He absolutely adores the fact that when he asks "Why don't we do this?", rather than just go "Yeah, okay" and waste time and resources doing something HE KNOWS WON'T WORK, the Old Timer says 'no' and, over the course of the argument, actually EXPLAINS why not, which means Phillip ACTUALLY LEARNS THINGS. The more he argues, the better he becomes at building things and he doesn't have to try and decipher what some book is telling him or guess what the book might be leaving out and he LOVES IT and if the Old Timer had died, how would he learn things then? When Thomas points out that he'd learn just as much - maybe more - if he just asked the Old Timer to teach him things rather than argue, Phillip low key panics because what if he figures out Phillip WANTS to learn and stops talking to him or refuses because he doesn't like him at all?

By this point Thomas is a) trying to remember if he was ever THIS paranoid, and praying he wasn't and b) wondering what on earth to do with a Duke who is clearly in love with a crusty old working class codger, but hasn't figured it out yet.

He decides to tell Rouse and make it HIS mess to deal with.

Phillip and the Old Timer eventually get married and get a cottage of their own and Phillip about dies happy at the idea of a home that he actually owns instead of something that he's the custodian of for the next generation who will be the custodians for the generation after that and so on.

[lovie2mist]

Because I said so: Gyeong-seok x Hyun-ju PT. 1

because i can, so i will write for this ship because they are just too cute.

Timid shy guy x Timid Badass girl

This takes place some time after the game, Gyeong-seok doesn't really know what happened but he can't seem to stop thinking about Hyun-ju.

Years had gone by, memories faded, but the warmth of her lips remains on his. He never thought he would see her again, until he took Na-yeon on a trip to America, and thank god he did.

Genre: fluff, kissing

Warning: internalized transphobia, insecure thoughts, suicidal thoughts.

It was a whirlwind of a game. People died, and friends betrayed. There was so, so many reasons why this was inappropriate, but he couldn't seem to stop himself from looking at her. At her flushed face, at her weak smile, at the way she took a deep breath.

Seriously, they had just gotten back to the dormitory, and he couldn't keep his mouth shut. "God, I could draw you forever," Gyeong-seok says moments ago. Now, eyes wide and mouth agape, he couldn't help but stare at her. Sitting down on the steel stairs was probably not a good idea.

"I—Um— OH GOD I'M SORRY I—" he stuttered out, now forcing himself to look away as he started to become a blabbering mess in front of the most beautiful girl he has ever seen.

Player 120, or Hyun-ju as he now knows, let out a chuckle, that quickly turned into a laugh, making him look at her in both shame and admiration.

God, he just can't help it, huh?

No matter how hard he tries, he can't seem to stop his heart from beating so loudly when it comes to her.

A moment passes by, and Hyun-ju finally stops laughing—whether it was at him or because of him, he didn't care; he was just glad that he made her laugh.

"You know...," Hyun-ju starts, eyes slowly meeting his, as if to enamour him further than he already was, "if I didn't know better, I would've thought that you liked me, Mr. 246," she tucks a hair behind her ear, a small smile on her face as she slowly looks away, "though, knowing from experience, guys like you wouldn't dare see me in that way, huh?"

A gloomy air started to form around them, as their eyes were still staring at each other; he could see the pain and rejection that Hyun-ju was starting to feel. A tense silence filled the once light-hearted moment.

Gyeong-seok starts to panic, 'think, Gyeong-seok, think,' he racks his brain to say something, anything, just so he can remove the heartbroken expression from Hyun-ju's beautiful face.

As she started to look away, Gyeong-seok suddenly held her hand, making Hyun-ju look at their intertwined hands. "YOU KNOW...!" Embarrassed, he lets out a fake cough to distract everyone from his sudden outburst. "You know...," he says in a much lower, much more appropriate volume, "if a guy like me wouldn't see a woman as brave, as wonderful, as beautiful as you in that way, then that guy is a fool. And...," he trails off; he looks at Hyun-ju; he sees the way her face reddens, her eyes still staring at their hands, "I wouldn't want to be that guy."

Hyun-ju could feel her face heat up at what player 246, or Gyeong-seok, had said. By god, she was going to have a heart attack. She looks up from their hands to see his face; she was afraid, afraid that this was just some shitty-ass joke from a sweet-looking guy. However, when she sees his face, she can only see the sincerity in his eyes, staring right back at her.

They stare at each other for god knows how long; he couldn't help himself. That was it! He just couldn't help himself when it came to her. She makes him weak in all the ways that she could, and he would let her make him weak. Especially now, he just could not help it. Hyun-ju's face softened in a way that could only make him weak in the knees if he wasn't already sitting down.

Slowly, he starts to lean closer. He knows how pitiful he looks at the moment, giving a girl he just met—on a death game relay, no less—huge, big, puppy dog eyes, begging her to come closer, to make him weaker than he already was. And Hyun-ju is kind, as she leans closer, her heartstrings being pulled with the way he looks at her, and she wasn't about to hurt this pitiful man, so she leans in and kisses him.

Gyeong-seok kissed back hungrily. Hungry in a way a starving man would be after not eating for a whole year. A whine escapes from his mouth as Hyun-ju brings her free hand to his hair, his hand on her waist as he pulls her closer.

Their kiss deepens as Hyun-ju removes her hand from his hold to wrap her arm around his neck. Gyeong-seok used his now free hand to roam her body.

They pull away from the kiss, catching their breath. They stare at each other once again.

"Gyeong-seok, I...," Hyun-ju trails off. "Hyun-ju...," he follows. Suddenly, the alarms go off, alerting everyone. Gyeong-seok looks around to see what's going on. He looks back at Hyun-ju, only to see her fading away from him.

"Huh? What? Hyun-ju... Hyun-ju! HYUN-JU!"

He brings his arms up to grab her, frantic as she tries to grab onto him as well.

"HYUN-JU! WAIT! DON'T GO...!"

OOF!

"PAPA! PAPA! WAKE-UP!"

He feels pain, a near-combustible pain in his stomach as he processes what's going on.

"Ouch! Na-yeon! Stop! I'm awake, I'm awake!" Gyeong-seok groggily says as he puts his daughter next to him. He rubs his eyes, letting out a long yawn as the sun shines brightly behind the curtain.

"But, Papa! You said we'd go to the aquarium today!" Na-yeon whines as she pulls on her father's arm. "Hmm, I said that? I can't quite remember," Gyeong-seok rubs his chin, teasing the little girl as she repeatedly tells him that he did quite tell her that!

Gyeong-seok lets out a chuckle, "Okay okay, I did. Now go and get dressed while I make us breakfast, is that alright?" The little girl shouts out a YES! before running off to her room. He smiles at her until she's gone from his line of sight. He lets out a sigh as he slowly puts his feet out off the bed and onto the floor.

"What a dream, huh?" He whispers to himself; he breathes out again, the cold air from the air conditioner in their Airbnb hits his skin, making the man shiver a bit. Gyeong-seok stretches out his body before finally walking out of his room.

After the money he got from the government after they, the survivors of the game, exposed the masterminds, he got a huge compensation and funding for his daughter's medical bills and procedures, allowing him to carefully save up for their future as Na-yeon's health improved. After being cancer-free and being let out from the hospital, Na-yeon had expressed her wish to start studying. Now, a few years later, they're staying in America for her summer break.

Gyeong-seok makes his way to the kitchen; a view of the morning sky from the window on the balcony catches his eye. He takes a deep breath as a smile crawls up his face.

"What a good way to start the day..."

[aishangotome]

[Azel] Loving Devoutly in God's Harem - Part 1

Thank you @shatcey for providing the video for this!

This is a "what if" story.

You, a book merchant, visit Tanzanite and catch the eye of the Living God. You end up imprisoned in the "harem"...

Emma: Prince Azel, thank you for everything up until now.

Azel: Rejected. Why are you casually trying to escape? Wait!

Azel grabs my hand as I try to leave the room with my luggage.

(I guess I can't just suddenly run away without any explanation.)

Azel: Have you forgotten your debt to me?

Azel: You promised to repay the debt you owe me by acting as a shield against women, didn't you?

Emma: If all I have to do is repay the debt, there are other ways to pay.

Emma: For example, I could do other work and repay in installments...

Azel: Rejected.

Emma: Stingy!

Azel: Stingy is fine. Please get to work today.

Azel confiscates my luggage and looks down at me with a frown.

Emma: Then please listen to my earnest plea.

Azel: I'll listen, but that's it.

Emma: The other day, I heard from a merchant acquaintance...

Emma: That the story of the only woman to receive the sole affection of the Living God has already spread throughout the continent.

Azel: And?

Emma: If I were to fall in love with someone in the future, the rumors might become a hindrance.

Azel: Poor you.

Emma: Yes, poor me, right?

Azel: However, even if it's a pity for you, you have an obligation to pay your debt.

Azel: I have no choice but to tearfully bind you to the God's harem.

Emma: ...In the first place, that debt is due to your fraud, Prince Azel.

Emma: You only said you would introduce me to customers looking for books, but then you suddenly demanded a commission fee...

Azel: It's your fault for not confirming beforehand. It was a good learning experience, wasn't it?

(It's no use saying anything else.)

Emma: I've decided! I'm running away tonight!

Azel: Don't declare it so boldly! I'll put a collar on you.

Emma: ...I never knew Prince Azel had such a hobby...

Emma: Eek... W-w-wait a minute!

Azel pinches my cheeks, and when I resist, he picks me up.

Azel: This conversation is over. Let's go to sleep.

Emma: Are we together again today? I don't want to!

Azel: That's how a harem works, isn't it?

(What do you expect from a fake lover?)

The Living God is famous for keeping women at bay.

The harem's caretaker had been racking his brains about this for years, but the situation changed when Azel suddenly brought in a foreign girl.

(I've heard that he wants to do something about the current situation where countless women are flocking to enter the harem...)

(I wonder how long Azel intends to keep me tied down.)

Originally, we were more than acquaintances but less than friends, a book merchant and a customer.

I don't even know why I was targeted by the God.

I'm thrown onto the bed and he embraces my prone body. The warmth enveloping my back makes my heart pound.

(He probably imprisoned me for some baseless reason like, "I'm sure she won't fall for me"... )

(I wish he would realize that's not the case.)

Azel: Let me tell you, this is a measure to prevent you from escaping.

Azel: It's not like I want to sleep with you, so don't get the wrong idea.

(...There are plenty of other ways to keep me from escaping.)

(Since coming to the harem, I've been repeatedly swayed by Azel's suggestive behavior.)

(At first, I could easily brush it off, but as time goes by, it's becoming more difficult...)

(...It's painful to be told I can't fall in love with him.)

-

The next day, my plan to run away at night ended in failure.

Since I'm the only woman confined in the Living God's harem, the people around me are always going out of their way to try and win his favor by any means necessary.

It escalates day by day...

Emma: ...Sigh...

Azel: Don't sigh so obviously. It's contagious.

Emma: I never thought I'd be thrown into the bath while Prince Azel is bathing!

Even though the spacious bath allows for distance between us, soaking in the same water while wearing only a thin cloth is nothing short of an ordeal.

(What will happen if this keeps escalating?)

Azel: Just don't mind it.

Emma: Doesn't it bother you, Prince Azel?

Azel: If it's harmless, I don't care.

(Certainly, if we're this far apart, it doesn't really matter...)

(...That's impossible, isn't it?)

I sneak a glance at Azel, and he's completely averted his gaze from me.

Is this an "I'm not interested" attitude, or is it shyness...?

Either way, there's a prickling pain in my chest.

(Right now, it's just a bath, but there's a possibility that it could become a serious situation.)

(I gave up yesterday, but I really should try to escape, even if it's forced.)

(...)

(...In the first place, I'm a decoy to ward off women.)

(Azel was supposed to hate women who approach him.)

(In other words, if I become like those women, he might get fed up and kick me out.)

(That's right... Why didn't I think of this sooner?!)

The brilliant idea that popped into my head seems like a long shot if I think about it calmly, but...

Cornered, I have no other choice.

Emma: Prince Azel, since we're here, shall I wash your back?

Azel: Huh?

Emma: Or perhaps I could wash your hair?

Azel: ...Ah, so you're trying to get kicked out by deliberately harming me.

(Ugh... He saw through me in an instant.)

Emma: N-no, I wouldn't think of doing something so straightforward.

Emma: It's just that, if I'm going to play the part of the favored woman, even if it's a lie, I thought I should be able to do at least this much.

(Don't be shy. Just a little... just a little more to endure.)

I inhale the steamy air and move closer to Azel through the water.

When I close the distance enough to touch him, his mystical eyes, filled with the starry sky, suddenly turn towards me.

(...!)

Azel: Unfortunately, that's not even enough to be considered harassment.

Emma: ...I'm not trying to harass you.

Emma: It's just... well...

Emma: I just want to love the Living God!

Azel: ...Is that so?

(Huh, he's calmer than I expected—)

(!?)

He puts his hand on my waist in the water and pulls me closer.

Before I know it, our bodies are touching through the thin cloth.

Azel: Then please do your best.

(...Eh?)

.

.

.

Part 2

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to leave me a tip or buy me a coffee through the "Leave a Tip" button on my navigation bar!

[charmed-asylum]

The award for god damn my mouth drop like a cartoon cat goes to SY but u know . I know he doesn’t beat around the bush. However, was I thinking he be like this . And shit I can say from experience and studies that a lot he doing goes right with it. I mean sad thing and it’s really not just one person to pin point who could of fix this besides Thor town folks and trailer trash mom ( now idk where she grew up but hey it’s not me but cliches) that could of help. It’s sad because for her case she probably isn’t a slut while Sy is crazy he just type that knows it but tries to be all wooo man I mean I’m not crazy I’m caring but if u ever mess with me then haha u be getting a dead cat in your mail box or a stalker for life but wooooooo I’m just caring and being a human . Shit pat on the back and you good is looking out a simple box of stuff is looking out non stop poof Sy there is not helping out it’s stalking but bc this town is so small folks won’t see it. Oh he lucky that town size of a city block.

“On pay day, you go down to cash your check then give most of it right back, parsing it out for your various expenses. At the end of it, you have even less than the month before. You don't get it. Thing's only seem to get worse; not just money, but your body” honey this statement so spot on huh one a check back in the day like your time period AU money u get paid can last a month or last time now it’s like a blink poof gone and your body lord I’m only in my 20s and the issues I’m having at my age blown minds.

Sy just always there and idk why but it’s big ( lord I’m drooling and have not finish this thought) well as a whole get always with the sneak attack shit I’m barley 5 foot and I still have issues . Bc I’m too short they turn around and still don’t see me I gotta jump be like Boo. Anyway still damn “. For a big man, he sure can sneak up on you. “ also going back to my girl you got yourself a lifetime 20/20 level stalker. Hahaha way you keep doing Thor I can’t “ It isn't his fault he reminds you of that spoiled deadbeat. “ I wonder still wonder because he hasn’t been front with her which I feel it coming feel it coming . ( still gonna be shock) but on the why he gave her a reason which I’m gonna point out in a second but can “ I don't like to carry 'round debts. Let me buy you one." be one I mean it be least crazy one . And if not does he pray on pregnant women because of well a lot tumblr taught me a lot about kinks but because how easy the target she or how her emotions not there or pregnancy brain. “ You really don't get this man. You're no longer so sure that Thor sent him to check up on you, not since your last interaction. In fact, the wingman seemed more spiteful of him than you” also that he was so close to Thor which questioned his character like so he mad bc what Thor did or he use Thor for some reason. Because in small time I can’t see some friends falling out so easy bc hello who else u got .

This again makes me feel bad for her because while Sy seems nice and it your name was the fluff you don’t ask for I be all aww so cute and romantic but no nothing ever good and sweet it’s an huh my leg said in a sponge bob character voice. Like never so simple and sweet but damn how bad I felt reading this “ You glance over and find Sy watching you as he stands in the queue. His gaze makes you want to wilt.. Not even Thor looked at you like that. Don't be silly. Sy is just being a dutiful guy, helping out the town slut in her time of need. You won't be duped. Not when you can hear your name being twisted on tongues at that very moment” and fact he open ( after 1st day seeing her) mention he read books about pregnancy. It makes her wall slowly start to crack. “ He suggested before he's been reading things about pregnancy. You just can't picture him with a copy of What To Expect When You're Expecting.”

HAAH I’m sure many mention this but lord can you imagine “ He returns with a black coffee and a rather colourful donut. They don't match. Bitter and sweet all at once. “ But no the way that he watches her even down to her fingers. Or what way her EYES 👀 may go. He’s watching her as if I only watching tho his pray but as if he I don’t know still in war zone, looking through his sniper or goggles, watching his enemy. But still huh I hate it the perfect crazy stalker but idk even talking to her not at her or down to her .

AND HE SO HONESTLY BLUNT like okay he playing a game of 1s and 00s and we doing tic tac toe. Still like , “ "Yes, I'd like to take care of you. And the little one, if you'll let me….. His eyes flick up to the ceiling and his cheek ticks as he gives the question genuine thought. When he looks at you again, his face is set, "because I want to." that to me feels ( because not 1st time) he thinking on how to say it like before with the honest but down play it. In away which is why I feel there more.

Called to Duty 4

Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, abandonment, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Captain Syverson

Summary: You struggle to move on from the biggest mistake of your life but find it hard to forget among the whispers of a small town.

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

The bank is as ever anxiety inducing. On pay day, you go down to cash your check then give most of it right back, parsing it out for your various expenses. At the end of it, you have even less than the month before. You don't get it. Thing's only seem to get worse; not just money, but your body. Every day you wake up, you feel even more crummy than the last. 

Your hopes of a treat at the cafe are dashed. You give a longing look as you walk by and peer through the window. You can smell cinnamon and coffee. You're strict non-caffeinated, doctor's orders, but a decaf would be amazing with one of those cinnamon buns. Ugh, damn, why are you torturing yourself? 

You turn to continue down the street but barely dodge out of the way of another pedestrian. He makes sure you can't pass as he mirrors you, sidestepping to block your way. You sigh as you step back and look Sy in the face. For a big man, he sure can sneak up on you. 

"Hey," he flips up his dark sunglasses, "how're you feeling?" 

You stare up at him defiantly, not quite bold enough to glare. He hasn't done anything wrong, he's just persistent. It isn't his fault he reminds you of that spoiled deadbeat. Or that your emotions are volatile, one moment teary eyed, the next blazing hot with rage. 

"Fine, thanks for asking," you shrug, "Sy, I gotta--" 

"I owe you a cookie," he points to the cafe window at his shoulder. 

You blink. You remember the cracked shortbread. You forgot about that. The mention of the sugary treat makes your stomach growl and your mouth water. 

"No, you don't--" 

"I do," he insists, "I don't like to carry 'round debts. Let me buy you one." 

"I got it free," you say, "it's not a big deal." 

"It is to me," he counters, "I was heading in anyway." 

You stare at him. You really don't get this man. You're no longer so sure that Thor sent him to check up on you, not since your last interaction. In fact, the wingman seemed more spiteful of him than you. You look across the steeet to the pharmacy then back at him. The aromas wafting out with each swing of the door have you ravenous.  

"I can't stay long, I gotta work," you say. 

His cheeks twitch, as if he tamps back a smile before it can bloom, "after you." 

He gesture behind you to the door. You turn and lead the way. He reaches past you to open the door before you can and you enter ahead of him. The din within is lively and the air is warm from the crowd and the employees steaming out orders behind the counter. 

"Wanna find a seat?" He suggests, "you should rest." 

You open your mouth to argue but think better of it. You'd rather not stand in the clustered line. You nod and head off to claim the table by the window. There isn't much left. 

You pull out the chair and brace your back as you sit with a sigh. You glance over and find Sy watching you as he stands in the queue. His gaze makes you want to wilt, instead you turn your attention out the window. 

Not even Thor looked at you like that. Don't be silly. Sy is just being a dutiful guy, helping out the town slut in her time of need. You won't be duped. Not when you can hear your name being twisted on tongues at that very moment. 

You sit and wait, wring the strap of your small purse. You watch the street. If it wasn't for the people, Hammer Ford would be serene. 

A plate clinks in front of you and a porcelain mug as well. It isn't a cookie and you can smell the herbal tea's rosy flavour. You peer up at Sy as he gives an apologetic look. 

"Cookies are still baking so I got you a cinnamon bun," he says. 

"And tea?" You add. 

"Can't have one without the other," he says, "no coffee for you." 

"Yeah, I... I know." 

You could laugh. He suggested before he's been reading things about pregnancy. You just can't picture him with a copy of What To Expect When You're Expecting.  

"Thank you," you smile as best you can. 

"Gotta get mine, be back," he excuses himself and marches back to the counter. 

You look down at the gooey iced draped spiral. You really shouldn't. Not only accept his misspent generosity but indulge in the excess sugar. Yet your hormones won't let you resist. You can at least wait until he's sitting down. 

He returns with a black coffee and a rather colourful donut. They don't match. Bitter and sweet all at once. He sits and takes off his hat and sunglasses. 

You put your purse to the edge of the table and rest your hand on your stomach, doing your best to resist the animalistic need to tear apart the dessert. His eyes follow the movement and you quickly drop your arm. You don't even think when you do it, it's just a habit. 

"You-" he begins. 

"Wh--" you find your voice at the same time. 

You both stop, hesitant. He nods and gestures to you, lifting his cup as he watches you intently. That's new too. Thor never listened much, only talked a lot. Besides, you weren't exactly together for the conversation. 

"Sy," you clear your throat and sit forward as much as you can, "why are you following me around?" 

His brows form a vee, "I'm... it's not... I'm tryna help." 

"Okay, but why?" 

His eyes flick up to the ceiling and his cheek ticks as he gives the question genuine thought. When he looks at you again, his face is set, "because I want to." 

"You want to?" 

"Yes, I'd like to take care of you. And the little one, if you'll let me." 

You can't help your snort, "we hardly know each other." 

"Isn't for lack of trying," he taps his fingers on his mug. "Aren't ya gonna try the bun?" 

"I will," you assure him. He's trying to distract you and it's close to working. The cinnamon is driving you mad. "A baby is a lot of work and... I'm not your responsibility. I know Thor is your friend." 

"Was," he interjects.  

"Sure," you accept his decisive declaration, "but that doesn't mean you have to worry about his mistakes." 

"Mistakes? I don't think so," he says. 

"Well, it's not exactly planned," you scoff, "Sy, really I don't feel right about you doing so much." 

"Wouldn't feel right not doing it," he shrugs his burly shoulders. 

“But why?” You nearly exclaim. You just want to know why he cares so much, about you? 

He leans forward, elbows on the table, “they talk about me too, ya know? Since I got back from... serving. They say I’m f—crazy, or whatever. It wasn’t easy or nothin’ over there but I’m not nuts. Not like they say. Just like you’re not some slut, forgive me for saying it out loud.” 

You look down at the table and exhale. So he hears as much as anyone else about you. At least he’s honest. At least he isn’t joining them. You purse your lips and reach for the cinnamon bun, unable to restrain yourself any longer. 

“For what it’s worth,” you raise your eyes to meet his, “I never thought you were... unwell, or whatever they say.” 

His cheeks pinch, another suppressed smile, and he tilts his head, “I’m only happy to hear you think of me.” 

[deoidesign]

Someone killed my boss last night and he sent me this I'm so fired

god I can't wait to make this comic.

[trans-leek-cookie]

listen I'm not gonna be a Curly apologist he did Fucked Up as captain but I genuinely recommend ppl watch a playthru that goes thru the game in chronological order. It kinda helps clear up the events and gaps between them, bc even tho u See the times, you still experience it out of order.

The stuff Anya says definitely sets off alarm bells but it doesn't seem like he Fully Understands what she means, and I'm going to be 100% honest I think she was trying to repress it herself. This isn't to say that she is AT ALL "at fault" for what happened after and she should've gotten help even if she wasn't ready to fully discuss the issue but I genuinely think she herself was still coming to terms with things, so she didn't necessarily process the full impact before talking to Curly, and a lot of what happens occurs after they're laid off- like this delves into personal interpretation but I genuinely think Anya only registered Jimmy as a serious danger after his outburst towards Curly. Ofc my interpretation is limited bc of the limited pov in game and not having gone through what she has, but it personally reads more akin to coercion over time than a singular Obviously Violent incident (like. Not to say that Sexual Assault isnt violent in nature, just that coercion often specifically works to obfuscate the fact it is a form of violence.) The layoff is a Massive catalyst for her bc of Jimmy, in that she now has a very clear understanding of his capacity for aggression.

To extrapolate a little from the "Dead Pixel" conversation, she starts by saying she Likes The Screen (even though it's fake). While Curly has his quotes about the pixel "not ruining the illusion" which. Y'know is Symbolic Of His Flaws. She doesn't say the pixel ruins it, just that she can't get it out of her mind.

If we take the pixel to represent her Or jimmy, either way the way she talks about it kind of downplays things, like it's a Minor Thing that's Slightly Upsetting, but she's still okay with the big picture. Idk I could be 100% wrong but that is my take

Besides that, Anya tells curly she's pregnant 2 days before the crash, and it isn't until she outright states it that he starts Putting The Pieces Together. I want to note, he says "I'd do anything" and "this doesn't have to go on our performance evals" 1. Before he knows shes pregnant 2. Under the assumption she might attempt suicide, and I doubt he even thought about her using the gun on anyone else before she brings that up. He says literally before the line where she tells him she's pregnant that "being laid off isnt a reason to hurt [herself]". Like I've seen ppl talk about the performance evaluation thing like it's about her and jimmy, but I think he's referring to (his belief) that she might attempt suicide or similar which might genuinely be a consistent thing he's seen her struggle with, given she's able to go through with it. Also just to note: assuming their society is like ours (hellish) reassuring her he won't blab Abt her mental health is like. Genuine reassurance- lots of mentally ill ppl will Not Open Up bc it could have long term consequences (like. For example. On employment) ANYWAYS I hope it doesn't come off like "Curly never failed Anya" but rather "Curly approached this specific situation without the context of why Anya is panicking and (possibly validly) assuming she's dealing with a very different issue"

Also let me say again the time frame is 2 days. We don't Really see what happens, but we know Anya tells Jimmy without Curly knowing. I genuinely believe he maybe didn't do a Great Job in those two days (the fact he says Anya should've talked to Him before telling Jimmy is uhhh. Mm. 1. Your job to create an environment where she comes to you my man 2. Weird to tell her what she should do with HER OWN PERSONAL INFORMATION) but like.

I get a lot of ppl want immediate consequences but consider that they can't really get rid of Jimmy (co pilot. Which is. Y'know it's Own Problems) but also like. Curly knows Jimmy, and we know that Jimmy tends to lash out. Curly should probably Not Confront Jimmy Unless He Knows Exactly How To Keep Him From Hurting Anya. Like I'm not an expert but this is something genuinely important- when confronting an abuser you NEED to take into account the impact it can have on their victim, and sometimes for the victims safety you need to wait until you have a Solid Plan. It sucks but it's important.

And theres discussion to be had about Curly kinda going along with Jimmy saying "well what if we all died" and like. I do believe he Didn't Realize What Jimmy Said. Like he was just processing/trying to keep the situation under control (and failing because he underestimated how willing Jimmy was to hurt everyone including himself).

Like he's definitely an enabler but I would say his problems are mostly before he understands the gravity of the situation, in that he's friends with Jimmy and assumes the best of a man with abusive tendencies, and fails to create an environment that can keep Anya and the others safe. Like, he definitely doesn't handle in game events perfectly (psych evaluation for one- he does do it instead of Anya which is actually helpful, but he still treats it like. Weirdly.)

Idk I have a lot of thoughts about this game and I don't necessarily want to defend Curly but more like. Anya's situation is very delicate (and light on details) so sometimes the way ppl talk Abt it feels like they aren't actually focused on what she wants and what it means to prioritize her safety y'know?

Edit bc I just now figured out kinda how I want to word it: curly is an enabler and making things worse bc he doesn't put a stop to Jimmy's BS, but in the specific scenario we see in game I think he's trying to use his Skillset of like, people pleasing not for Jimmy's sake but for the crews (like "if I nod my head and say I sympathize he won't lash out and hurt them") which like. There are situations which that is unfortunately the safest option (on an individual level yes, but sometimes it's also necessary to prevent abusers lashing out in response toward ppl who are more vulnerable) but it was the Wrong Choice.

It's like. I think Curly was trying and had good intentions, and understood that he needed to protect the crew, but he didn't have the toolset/experience to realize he can't Just go along with things and that he needs to be able to set hard limits, even for ppl he likes and trusts. Like he failed but the failure was "for want of a nail", where it began way before what we see (for want of an understanding of power dynamics I guess.) Again, don't think this makes curly more forgivable or whatever, I just think he's a good example of trying to make the right choices when you never realized you'd have to make these kinds of decisions and therefore are unprepared and/or unaware

Second edit: personally I don't think you can really incapacitate jimmy without there being serious risk (again he's the copilot) but curly should've given Anya the gun when she told him Abt the pregnancy

[ratatatastic]

not a single braincell to be found amongst them not a single damn one

[grison-in-space]

It's true. I watched three seasons of the Good Doctor before I became aware of the memes making fun of Shaun's portrayal. I have complicated feelings about the show, but my feelings about the memes are a lot less complicated. A lot of the outrage about him really does feel like discomfort about the extent to which Shaun doesn't mask and overloads "publicly."

I have had a meltdown like Shaun's over my career, which I have worked very hard on for a very long time, and which I nearly lost (and thought then that I had lost) because I fucked up a social interaction. It was scary. I have more control over my life now and I can usually avoid experiences that knock me into meltdown as an adult, but not always.

The memes remind me of how my mother used to make fun of me for the way I held my chin when I got mad. They remind me of being teased for not successfully masking or performing. They remind me of consequences.

I think you are right on the money about how high masking people react to this show, because it is in many ways about being visibly autistic in a way that can't be masked. The thing about masking is that you usually learn to do it by positive punishment—that is, failing to correctly mask is a trigger for something unpleasant to happen to you socially. It was for me. So seeing a character failing to mask, even when masking might fix a social problem, becomes really frightening and disturbing, because you have been conditioned that this means a consequence is coming. Especially if you've built up your masking reflexes so they're semiconscious, so you're not very aware of them, it looks like a character failing to do the obvious things to keep them from falling into big scary social consequence traps. Human brains are very good at constructing superficial reasons for why the emotional reactions we have make sense, so I'm not surprised that a lot of people automatically go "this character portrayal stresses me out, so the problem is the portrayal, which is bad."

Knowing why it happens doesn't make the phenomenon good or okay. It doesn't stop the byblow damage you're describing either, Loaf. It just sucks. Because the ability to successfully mask, in a person who has the capacity to do so, is a function of stress and support: the capacity to mask can and does fuck off if the level of external stress can't be matched by the supports and internal energy reserves a person has access to.

Masking is just passing. Passing can be revoked at any time and it's expensive. It's just... what do you think the self under the mask looks like? Do you think we get trained to mask because the autistic person under that mask is exactly like the shape of the performance we deliver while wearing it? Do you think that person is free of stilted words or gutteral noises or meltdowns or hopeful offers to talk about special interests or that special rigidity of the mind that won't let something go even when that would be obviously better for the social dynamic or all the rest of it?

never watched the good doctor n never plan to. so maybe not good person talk about this. but never plan to watch it because in fact kinda hate it (mainly because once someone be ableist about high support needs autism n excuse it using shaun & say how they know what HSN is because they call shaun is, n quoting, “very high support needs” n he very. much. not. but anyway) — so this also give weight to what am going say

do see how people make fun of shaun (main character). like “i am a surgeon/sturgeon” memes n so much more. my favorite show house md & keep especially see meme compare house with sean autism to make fun of shaun—make fun of irony of “shaun be explicit autistic but bad autism representation & house not supposed to be / not explicit (depend on interpretation) autistic but somehow way better autism rep than shaun” situation. like:

[id: two meme compare sean with house about autism.

1: left side is shaun screaming/meltdown in “i am surgeon” scene with “bad autism rep” write on top. right side house in prison suit with “good autism rep” write on top.

2: twitter screenshot from rooster @/ househiscane. left is picture of shaun n have “autistic doctor” non capitalized on top. right is picture of house with stereo n “AUTISTIC doctor” on top, with “AUTISTIC” in all caps. at time of screenshot, have 648k views.

end id]

n again, never watched the good doctor. so maybe in show there truly part where not great n ableist n problematic autism rep. BUT.

from all these memes. n all these people justify how they hate sean how them make fun of shaun is okay. don’t see evidence for how shaun & show represent autism in some truly problematic way.

instead. see visibly autistic person. see people describe trait of visibly autistic person. see people make fun of visibly autistic traits. see a visibly autistic and low support needs person.

see same rhetoric used by non autistic AND AUTISTIC people to make fun of n be ableist to me, visible autistic (high support needs) person. that am embarrassing. that am stereotype. that “no autistic person act like this.” that “you make me embarrassed be autistic.” that am make autistic people look bad. the r word.

every single one of those thing, have heard it also be use call shaun.

versus. house, he’s asshole, he’s visibly asshole, n because of that he’s dynamic he’s well rounded. but he’s not visibly autistic.

n so suspect in big part, or even, entire unspoken point of these comparison, or meme against shaun, is because. house is not visibly autistic so relatable n thus good to audience of mainly high masking autustics. he the real autism rep. he the good autism rep. he the ACTUALLY autistic rep. shaun is visibly autistic n thus not.

from crowd that champion unmasking! be free! be yourself! but say nothing, or in this case nothing good, about people who cannot mask or be put in genuine life danger if choose unmask. from crowd that say autistic meltdowns not tantrum! normalize autistic meltdown! it’s okay! don’t record or make fun of or comment on someone’s worst moments! but make fun of visibly autistic person meltdown in public.

although should not be surprised. should not be! this same crowd that not know what visibly autistic actually is. or even not believe it even exist. same crowd that think unmasking will make them visibly autistic same way it make me visibly autistic. same crowd that think it mean just some occasional happy hand flapping. same crowd that call themselves visibly autistic because they do those occasional hand flapping n in next sentence complain about be told “but you don’t look autistic.” same crowd that say autism not have look. same crowd that permanently group autism into invisibly disability.

same crowd that cannot fathom autistic person different from them.

same crowd that bully n exclude n speak over n be ableist towards me.

like it the autism show to acceptable make fun of, it the autistic character to acceptable make fun of. it the show n character where u can let out all your offensive edgy ableist anti-autistic feelings, go mask off about it. it acceptable. everyone do it. even autistic people do it. especially autistic people do it. especially high masking autistic do it. autistic people who do it n justify it okay because they autistic n that grant them free pass.

criticize how any show represent autism badly problematically. that okay! that acceptable! that great! not telling you you can’t. — don’t doubt in the good doctor there not parts that make you wince in bad way because it speak terribly for autism.

but if all your “reasoning” for why that autism rep is. traits of visibly autistic person. or, (not applicable in this case), traits of high support needs & traits of level 2/3 autism. it’s not criticism you just ableist.

you all say visibly autistic people get enough rep already that it’s time for low support needs invisibly autistic high masking autistic women (& white—but shhh that part shouldn’t be say out loud) be in center of representation.

you all can’t even handle a visibly autistic character that’s low support needs and CISGENDER WHITE MAN.

once again. am hate this fucking show. n am here defending it.

is it genuinely bad rep or is character just visibly autistic.

[pochapal]

tomorrow i will have been reading umineko for one whole year

[strike-9]

saw a post on here about making friends as an adult and i feel conflicted cuz like, overall i agree that all you have to do is get the courage to show up and get the ball rolling by talking to people/getting their numbers even if it feels cringe or 'wrong' to do so however i can't help but raise my eyebrow at the 'act like they're already your friend' part because some people lean way to into that to the point where they forget we're not actually friends yet which inevitably leads to them saying/doing something that's pretty out of line so like. yes put yourself out there, talk to them and get to know them but please remember that people need to actually like, warm up to each other which could take weeks of speaking to them regularly at minimum

[radicalrascals]

Nick shakes his head slowly, the slight frown yielding a smile. "You don't have to tell me, because I know. You show me every day." He takes a deep breath, trying to replay the scene in his head. It doesn't make sense and yet it does. A little uncomfortably so, but eventually he chuckles, if purely to express his disbelief, not because the two people he loved acting like assholes was suddenly funny to him.

"I'm pretty sure Rafa didn't want you to defend yourself either." He quickly raises his hand as to stop Hari from adding his tuppence, because one thing Nick needs to make clear: "It wasn't fair. He has no right to test you. And while I think it's..." he swallows any and all negative adjectives that come to mind and just shakes his head for a place holder instead, "It probably made sense in Rafa's weird brain and he didn't mean ill, even if he was being exceptionally... provocative..." The last word is almost whispered. Realisation hits and Nick bites his lower lip, frown back in place. "I know you wanted to leave and I'm not going to stop you, if you still want to. But if you're still here when I get back, that'd be nice. I just need to...", he picks up his half-smoked rollie and wiggles it about, before he gets up and places a brief kiss on Hari's hair.

Outside, Rafael's fingernails dig into his palm but he keeps himself firmly locked in place, not giving into the desire to pace and throw his arms around in wild gestures while trying to explain himself. He has a thousand things on the tip of his tongue but he swallows them all, for they were knives rather than shields. Eventually he just settles on an almost too neutral elucidation for someone so clearly passionate and governed by emotions: "The question was if he would break Nico's heart, not if his wife would. And if someone would ask me if I would cheat on you and they would name all the women I'm friends with, my colleagues, everyone I ever dated and, yes, my ex-wife included, I would still say 'no, I would not cheat on you and I have no romantic feelings for any of these people mentioned.' This has never been an attack towards his ex-wife nor him having an ex-wife in the first place." And he looks the other way before he gives in to a 'but you keep making it into something I never said.'

Still he mutters: "And I don't hate him."

"Good. I would still love him if you did," Nick could see Rafa being taken aback by Nick's sudden appearance, so he uses the brief moment of his older brother trying to wrap his head around the new situation to walk up to him and wrap his arms around him: "Cê não precisa esconder que tá magoado."

"I'm not."

"Tisha, can you please punch my brother in the shoulder. I'd do it myself but I don't feel like driving anyone to the hospital tonight." He lets go of Rafael and lights his smoke and finally, finally gets to enjoy it. "You don't give people a chance to treat you right, Rafa, and you think I'm the same. But I actually say if something bothers me. And you know what? Hari listens. And he can accept a no. But you think you gotta save everyone and be a martyr in the process. That's hurting people too, you know?! And I bet Tisha and I could tell you for hours and days how wonderful Hari is, but I want you to go back inside and see for yourself. And this time, when you apologise, make it sound less estúpido, yeah? And can you also try to forgive him too? Tisha, did I forget something?"

“He was… he told me that if I broke your heart with anyone, my ex or whoever, there would be consequences.” Hari sighs. “And I told him that if he ever talked about the mother of my children that way again, I would punch him in the mouth.” He’s really not sure what sounds worse in hindsight, the threat or the defence. “In the moment, all I was thinking was… fuck this, she’s not here to defend herself, she’s engaged - fine, he hates me, but why is he dragging her through the mud too?” He explains, slow shake of his head like he’s chiding himself instead of relaying the information.

“I’ve always been better at defending other people than myself. But he wanted me to defend this, us, not… I could have handled it better, in a few ways. And I will apologize to him, when he and Tisha are done out there.” But something else sticks in his mind, something Nick said before he asked- “But you are the person I wanted to say all that to. About... what you mean to me. At least, the first person. It’s too important to say it in an argument, to prove something to your brother. I had to say it to you.”

Tisha chews on the inside of her cheek for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts. "No, you shouldn't have. You would have reacted just as badly if Hari brought up your ex wife, whether he was looking out for me or not. And I would be just as mad at him for implying that you'd break my heart by going back to her." Is what finally comes out, as if this reframing will make a difference. "And I would want you to defend her, if you felt her character was being questioned. Snowden… Nobody here is anybody’s first love. Singling out Hari for being divorced is hypocritical and you know that. His youngest is ten years old, his ex is going to be in his life for a while.”

I am not the first person you loved. You are not the first person I looked at with a mouthful of forevers. It’s not the time for poetry, but it flares into her mind anyway. “You two probably would have liked each other if you spent tonight getting to know each other instead of looking for reasons not to. And now Nick has to decide if he can be with someone that his big brother hates, and that fucking sucks."

[fatcowboys]

having so many thoughts and feelings abt Evan kelmp post recent mismag ep if I spontaneously combust that's why

[void-tiger]

Trying to keep a lid on it but. Yeah. Literally don’t know what’s it like to NOT be platonically neglected IRL my whole damn life, only that I know this One Person doesn’t deserve to be at the epicenter of it anymore than I deserved to have been at the epicenter of theirs a year ago now.

…why am I like this. Why are we like this.